GROUP RULES

Why set norms and rules in a group?

Norms and rules may be used in order to:

• provide predictable group interaction;

• provide stability for a group and to support the main goals of group communication – trust, acceptance, and respect;

• outline patterns of communication and coordination;

• act as a guide to agreed behaviour, particularly if in written form. (This may be useful if some participants violate agreed rules.)

At the very beginning of the programme, it is important to explain that group rules are necessary, and that having process guidelines in place helps to facilitate group discuss i o ns.

It is a useful and positive exercise to involve group members in the process of developing group regulations. By creating their own rules, participants are more motivated to follow

Group rules

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them, as they have been able to share their own opinions and ideas about how to organi s e the group work. Moreover, it may be the first time in a long while that they have had an opportunity to say something about the rules that they would, and would not, like to foll o w.

Some extra time should be spent developing these guidelines with the group. You could ask the women questions such as the following:

• “What would help you participate most fully in this group?”

• “What would make it possible to talk about your own experiences?”

• “What would prevent you from expressing yourself?”

• “What do you think fosters communication?” (E.g. ‘I’-messages.)

• “What do you think shuts communication down?”

Since the group will be working on changing abusive patterns, it is essential to set the rule that any belittling or abusive language or attitudes will not be tolerated. It may be approp ri a te for the group to agree a way of challenging and preventing such behaviour.

As a symbolic way to show commitment, you could write the group rules agreed by the participants on a flipchart, leaving some space at the bottom. Ask the women to walk up to the flipchart and sign the set of rules if they are happy with them. The flipchart should stay visible at every session in order to make it easy to refer to any of the rules.

Basic process guidelines

The following are important points to cover, although each group can come up with additional rules.

• Give everyone an opportunity to speak.Each person should avoid dominating the discussion (including the facilitator/s).

• Good listening is important.We should hear what a person is saying before speaking. Don't interrupt others.

• Speak from your own experience.

• Be honest.

• Value and validate others' differences and experiences.

• Confidentiality.All discussion and contributions are confidential – no personal information ever leaves the room without express consent.

• Arrive on time.

• Attend regularly. Members need to contact the facilitator if they are unable to attend a meeting; and if they have decided to leave the group for the time be i n g, they should try to come to one more session, or, if this is not possible, contact the facilitator to explain their reasons.

Informing newcomers about group rules

Groups that are following a programme will probably be “closed” – i.e. members will sign up at the beginning of a programme and will commit to attending until the end. However, some informal groups may remain open, and women can join at any point, or at least until the group reaches its agreed maximum size.

CHAPTER 4: Group policies and protocols

If anyone has missed the first introductory session, or if working in an open group, new-comers must be informed about the norms and rules that already exist. They should not be left to discover these norms on their own, and it should never be the case that a newcomer faces sanctions just because she did not know that a norm existed. Newcome rs should also get the chance to add to the rules, or suggest modifications.

When group rules are violated

Most of the time, members of support groups stick to the agreed rules, and are supportive of and cooperative towards each other. Unfortunately, there are exceptions when memb e rs of a group, intentionally or not, break the established group rules. If this happens, the facilit ator should clearly indicate as soon as the violation is noticed, and use effective techniques such as the ‘microphone technique’¹⁷, to overcome it. Repeated violation of norms are best solved with one-to-one sessions to discuss the meaning behind the behaviour, and try to come to an agreement on how this can be worked through.

In what kinds of situations should a participant be excluded from a group?

Ideally, you/the facilitator will not be faced with a situation in which a member has to be excluded from the group. Nevertheless, in cases when an individual’s behaviour is such that it prevents the group from functioning, exclusion should be considered as one option. In our experience exclusion is rare, but when it has occurred, the excluded group member was alleged to have done one or more of the following:

• jeopardised the safety of the group;

• disclosed personal information of group members outside of the group setti n g;

• attended the group while severely under the influence of alcohol or other substances;

• repeatedly broken the group contract and/or rules;

• behaved abusively towards other members.

You might also consider excluding someone who has participated ineffectively in the group, due to a change in her life situation. This reason is different from the others in that it does not involve breaking any of the rules; but sometimes the life situations of members change while they are attending the group, and this may impact on their participation in, or commitment to, the group.

It is important to undertake risk assessments with the women frequently and, depending on your or your service’s ability to manage risk, you could use one-to-one support planning sessions to discuss the best and safest route forward. In some cases, this may mean that other alternative support would be more effective.

If you decide to exclude a member from the group for any reason, it is imperative that this is done with the utmost possible care. Never talk about the exclusion in front of other group members. Instead, arrange a one-to-one session to discuss the issue and explain to the group member kindly but firmly why it is not possible for her to continue in the g r o u p at this point. It may be useful to look back to what was originally agreed in the Group

17See page 41

Group contract

Rules or the Group Contract. It is also important to look at other support that does not involve group settings, and work out a support plan that is more appropriate for her at this point in her life.

Example:

In the interim period between two sessions, Sevim had decided to leave her violent partner. When the next group meeting started, she was visib l y traumatised and began talking continually about her situation. Although the group could empathise with her position, her conduct was severely damaging the ability of the group to carry on with the session, and her suffering was starting to upset some members. To rectify the situation, the co-facilitator asked Sevim to come and talk to her outside the group.

This meant that the group could continue with the session, and that Sevim could get the one-to-one support she needed. In the one-to-one session, Sevim had the time to talk through her problems, and a risk assessment and safety plan were carried out. It was sugge s t ed to Sevim that, because she was now in a crisis situation, it might be better for her to carry on with one-to-one support instead of group sess i o n s, until she was in a more stable place. Understandably, Sevim was reluctant to leave the group early as she had formed tight bonds with other memb e r s. How-ever, once she had talked through the issue with the co-facilitator, she decided to sign up for the next programme when she hoped she would be better able to cope with group work. She would stay in touch with her new friends from the current group in her own time.