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CHAPTER 6: The Power To Change Self-Esteem Programme
Session 14: Ending and new beginnings
Example:
At the closing of one group, Mai Ly made special stones for each woman. She had hand-painted a dozen small stones, and had attached a little note to each. She then asked each of the women (including the facilitators) to choose a stone with an attached message. It turned out that she had had specific women in mind when she wrote each message and painted the stone, and most of the women actually chose “their stone”.
It was a very moving gift to the group.
This is the moment to stress how much has been achieved. You might like to create a certificate for each woman congratulating her on the completion of the Power to Change programme. The group is a fantastic way to start trying out new skills, but after that, they must become part of everyday life; i.e.
assertiveness needs to become the regular way of dealing with issues.
It is important in closing to give each participant time to share what she has gained from the group. Stress how the sad occasion of the group ending is really a new beginning, allowing them to take the experience a step further into daily life. Also, there is no reason why friendships that have developed during the group must end. People can keep in touch and you may want to encourage the group to meet on its own after the end of the structured programme.
Exercise 14:
It is good for the women to have something to take away from the group, so we recommend personalising some pretty stones or decorative cards, and bringing these to the group.
• Go around the members one by one, asking each participant what she thinks her strengths are.
• Write these on the stone or card and give to the woman to take away with her.
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CHAPTER 6: The Power To Change Self-Esteem Programme
3. Question time
Allow a small amount of time for any questions relating specifically to this session. Again, state that you will be available for a short time after the session finishes for questions.
4. Evaluation
It is important that – in addition to the weekly evaluation sheets – each wo m a n fills out a final evaluation sheet (Appendix 6). Explain the importance of
evaluation and of giving women a chance to express anonymously how they feel, and have their voices heard.
5. Closing the session
Even though this session is less structured than the rest, and is more social in its nature, it is still important to have a final closure. Thank the women for attending the course and talk a little about how you have found the group experience, highlighting all the positives. Ask each woman in turn to say what she feels to be the most important aspect of the course she is taking away with her. Explain that you will be available briefly after the session and for individual one-to-one support over the next couple of weeks, and can also refer the women on to other agencies, courses or services. Ask par-ticipants to fill out the Final Evaluation form. Then it is time to say goodbye.
Trouble Shooting
• Make sure resources for further support are available.
• Have information on courses or trips that you think the women may be interested in pursuing now that the group has finished.
• The social section is not structured like the rest of the course so it has the potential to be a little awkward at times. Make sure you have ideas for conversation starters ready in your head.
• Stress that the safety of the women is at all times paramount. It is good practice to arrange a one-to-one session with each woman to carry out a risk assessment now the course has finished, and to go through her safety plan, update if necessary, and work out what further support might be needed.
Session 14: Ending and new beginnings
• It is not usually good practice to agree to meet up with the group again as it is important for the women to accept closure. However, the facilitator should evaluate the situation, and some flexibility may be allowed, if clear boundaries are set beforehand. Group memb e rs are, in any case, free to meet up as friends and individuals in their own time.
A view from a survivor:
A supportive community for going on with my life. Support for my emotions that are not acceptable for many outside this group. The opportunity to talk about my feelings in a group.
I had a chance to look at my own life from a different
perspective, to become conscious about the fact that I have my own life and I am in control of my life. I started to make my own decisions, without always looking for the opinion of others.
Session 14
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BIBLIOGRAPHY
“Gender-in-a-box” Gender Matters manual:
http://eycb.coe.int/gendermatters/chapter_4/4_4.asp
Kûbler-Ross, E. (1969) On death and dying.(New York: Macmillan)
Nicarthy, G. (1990) Getting Free: A Handbook for Women in Abusive Situations.
(London: The Journeyman Press).
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I would only recommend it to women who are open with themselves, because you need that in order to be able to work in a group. During the group work we shed light on all the dark corners, and you need to be ready for that. [A survivor]
7.1. INTRODUCTION
Like the previous Power To Change model, the following psycho-educational sessions also form a flexible 14 week programme, which may be adapted to a slightly shorter 12 week programme, if that is more appropriate and suits the needs of participants better.
This educational self-help programme is, more specifically than the previous model, targeted at women coming out of abusive relationships, and focuses on changing patterns of learned behaviour.
As before, the fundamental curriculum centres on basic rights, an understanding of and ability to set boundaries, and the use of basic assertiveness techniques. The ‘Power To Change Educational Self-Help Programme’ works on changing the women’s ability to respond to abusive situations, and can be used for women who are still with their
abusers. If used inappropriately, however, it may actually endanger women who are still living with, or in contact with, a violent partner or ex-partner, since it encourages ness. It is important that careful consideration is given to the discussions on assertive-ness, and that women are warned not to try out assertiveness techniques on the
perpetrator, as this could be potentially dangerous. It is also essential that group partici-pants understand that the programme does not provide a crisis framework.
Constant attention must be given to risk assessment and safety throughout all sessions;
and the risk assessment and safety planning procedures detailed in Appendices 2 and 3 must be followed.
7.2. THE EDUCATIONAL SELF-HELP PROGRAMME: SUMMARY OF SESSIONS
Session 1: Basic rights
This session aims, among other things, to create a warm, safe and welcoming environm e n t for everyone attending, and ensure that everyone has a good understanding of their basic rights as women.