CHAPTER 7: The Power to Change: An educational self-help programme
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Session 1: Basic rights
• The location of the bathroom and the food and drink facilities should be pointed out.
• Explain any safety features of the building (such as where the fire exits can be found.)
• Go through any access issues.
• If there is any provision for childcare, explain this.
• Explain the complaints procedure.
• Explain the smoking policies of the venue.
3. The Power to Change – Educational Self-Help Programme
Take about 5-10 minutes to describe briefly what the course entails, making sure to explain the following:
• Who designed the course.
• How the format works, including the length of each session, the length of the entire course, and how often the group will meet.
• What the group will discuss at each session. (See Appendix 10, Details of the course.) You may find it helpful for the women to produce a more detailed course descriptor handout, that summarises what the course content will be for each session, as well as when they take place. (See Summary of sessions, above, as a basis for this).
• How to communicate in between the sessions. (See Appendix 10, Details of the course).
• Discuss with members their views on the length and frequency of br eaks.
4. Group expectations
At the outset, it is very important to ascertain what members of the group ex-pect from each other, and from the facilitators and the course itself. It is also important that you join in this discussion and explain what you expect. See Chapter 4, Group policies and protocols, for a more detailed discussion of these issues.
CHAPTER 7: The Power To Change Educational Self-Help Programme
Exercise 1a:
• Starting with yourself, go around the group asking each member to give one expectation they have of the group.
• Write each expectation on a ‘Group Expectations’ flip chart.
• Once completed, ask if the group members are happy with these expectations, and if they would like to contribute some more ideas.
• Once the flip chart is complete, put the sheet up on the wall to use as a reference point. This sheet should be put on the wall at each session as a reminder, and to look back on at the end of the group to see if the expectations have been met.
5. Group rules and contract
At this point, it is essential to agree on the group rules and for members to sign the group contract. (See Chapter 4, Group policies and protocols, for a more detailed discussion of these issues.)
• Refer to the Basic process guidelines handout (see Appendix 11) to start a conversation about basic rules, how to respect each other, and deal with the women’s fears of participating in the g r o u p.
• Discuss ways in which everyone can encourage and support one another through the sessions.
• Like the flip chart exercise for establishing group expectations, ha v e an ‘ideas storm’ about what the group would like to have as group rules. The chart can also be put on the wall for future sessions. If someone forgets about a group rule this can be used as an easy reference to refer to what was agreed at the first session.
• Have handouts of the contract for members to sign (see Appendix 8 ).
It is good practice to photocopy these once signed; the members can keep the originals and you the copies.
6. Beginning the session
Briefly sum up what will be discussed in this session and ask if everyone understands. As everyone is still very new to the group, the first session shou ld be used to create a warm atmosphere of safety and trust, and to begin forming bonds between the members. Take a few moments here to relax the group a little before going on to discuss Basic rights.
Session 1: Basic rights
Exercise 1b:
• Each member of the group should give one statement beginning with ‘I feel’. These statements could refer to how they feel about the group, the course, or their life in general.
• Ask if anyone would like to start and work clockwise from there. If no one volunteers to start, offer to go first.
• As a lot of the women will be nervous, be ready to ask questions that might help them come up with a statement for themselves, e.g.
“How did you feel today before the session?”
7. Basic rights
A good way of starting a discussion on basic rights is by using the ‘Bill of Rights’ (see Appendix 12). It is a good idea to have photocopies of this to give to each participant.
Exercise 1c
Discuss how much each woman feels entitled to the rights that are listed.
The following examples can be used as starting points for the discussion:
Example:
Kaija is 35 years old and is a first time mother of a 2-year-old.
With regard to her daughter Elisabet, Kaija is adamant that she cannot “put herself first”. In Kaija’s view, her daughter’s ne eds come first, meaning that her own needs are always secon dary.
Samina, 42 and mother of three, said she sometimes feels tot a lly overwhelmed by the demands of her children, and alt h o u g h she thinks they should come first, she often feels unable to put anybody first because she’s just too tired and confused.
Louise, 61, spends the majority of her spare time looking after her grandchildren, and is often expected to cancel appointm e n ts, for example with friends or the doctor, to meet the needs of h e r daughter and her children. Although Louise adores her grand-children, she feels worn-out from looking after them, is starting to resent her daughter, and feels taken for granted. However, when she thinks about talking to her daughter about her con-cerns, she starts feeling guilty because she believes she is faili ng to be a good mother and grandmother. This in turn m a k e s her angry with herself, and creates tension with her daughter.
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CHAPTER 7: The Power To Change Educational Self-Help Programme
It is important to highlight here, for example, how a mother is able to be attuned to a child’s needs but also to put her own wellbeing first. A mother who is overtired, not eating well or stressed out will find it harder to be in touch with her child or grandchild’s emotional needs, and may transmit nervousness to the child or have trouble soothing him or her. Putting oneself first should be reinterpreted as a positive and important way of taking good care of oneself, which will ultimately enable better care of others.
The group doesn’t need to arrive at a definite position and it is OK to agree to disagree: different women may have different ideas, and these should be respected. You are modelling positive ways of dealing with conflict and you must always keep in mind that the women you are working with come from abusive situations where it may be dangerous to have a different opinion and there is no real model for constructive discussion.
At the end of the discussion, ask the women to give themselves one of the rights discussed as a treat during the next week.
8. Question time
Before the session closes, it is good practice to allow a few minutes for spec i fic questions from the group on the content of the session. The members may not feel confident enough at this stage to raise questions, so state that you w ill be in the building for a little while after the group finishes for anyone wanting clarification on any issues.
9. Closing the session
End the session by explaining the ‘personal touch’ element of the course, and ask group members to complete it over the next week (see Chapter 5).
Spend a little time discussing this with the group if it is unclear, giving examples if necessary.
As this is the first session, allow approximately 15-20 minutes for closing, as everyone will need a little encouragement to speak up. Remember to do the following:
• Congratulate everyone for completing the first session of the Power To Change Programme.
Session 1: Basic Rights
• Go round the group and ask everyone to give a brief statement of their feelings about the first session.
• Introduce the Weekly evaluation sheet (Appendix 4), explain why it is important to have a system of evaluation in place, and ask all participants to complete a sheet.
Trouble Shooting
• As it is the first meeting, expect emotions to be running high;
both group members and facilitators are likely to feel nervous, shy, awkw a r d, and apprehensive. Refer to Chapter 4, Group policies and protocols, on how to overcome these challenging emotions, and be prepared and discuss any issues with the co-facilitator.
• Set the standard for future sessions. Although you may feel nervo u s or apprehensive, it is important to stick to the guidelines referred to in the chapter on Group policies and protocols.
• Avoid spending lots of time discussing announcements and explaining the course in lots of detail. The majority of this session should be dedicated to talking about group rules, allaying worries, creating a positive environment, and discussing basic rights.
• Discussing some elements of the Bill of rights may cause a lot of disagreement within the group; for example, some women see the right to put oneself first as selfish. This will need to be addressed in fur t h er detail as the course proceeds, but it is important for all women to feel safe enough to disagree politely with each other and with the facilitators, without fear of the severe reproach they are used to.
• Although you will give your availability after the session for quest i o n s, encourage the women to try and build up their confidence to ask questions in the group.
• Stress that the safety of the women is at all times paramount. If any woman wants to discuss her personal situation, arrange a one-to-one session to go through her safety plan.
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Goals of Session 2:
• Get to know each other a little bit more.
• Encourage active participation in the group.
• Understand that domestic violence is about power and control.
• Realise that the abuse is not in any way the women’s fault and that the perpetrators are wholly responsible for the abusive behavi o ur.
• Identify how domestic abuse consists of sexual, emotional, financ i al and physical violence.
• Build trust in the group so participants start to feel comfortable about sharing stories.
1. Introductions
Take some time to introduce any new members who may have missed last week, and reintroduce everyone including yourself as it can take a while to remember names. You could also use another ‘icebreaker’ exercise: see Appendix 9 for a selection of icebreakers.
2. Beginning the session
Start the session as before by recapping the last session and briefly summ i ng up what will be discussed today. Ask the members about the ‘right’ they chose in the previous session, and discuss the ‘personal touch’.
3. Definitions of abuse
In this second session it is important to construct a definition of abuse based on control and power. We suggest using the Duluth ‘Power and Control Wheel’28 as a resource for reaching a common definition of what constitutes abusive behaviour. Make photocopies of the wheel and give them out to participants (see Appendix 16).