Difficulties on the path to achieving meaningful

Levin (1951) recognized the connection between change and opposition to change as an indivisible link⁸³. Objection to change is, in fact, another mechanism of coping with the human repertoire. Patriarchal society in which we live is typified by values of preservation that are contradictory to change, while presenting a rigid front making change difficult. The need for broad change that in fact includes all the familiar values according to which our cultural codes were constructed as a society, presents a significant difficulty, since this sets us between two entities:

'Organization and order' and 'chaos'. The fear of the chaos is imprinted on the human experience that starts with the creation of the world. "And the earth was without form and void and darkness was on the face of the deep" (Genesis 1:2).

The significant change thus conveys a feeling of chaos that starts with the question of "From where to begin"? through the question of "Is it worth it?" and continues to "What will the new social order look like?"

The reaction to change slides on an axis from enthusiasm and the desire to realize the change, through apathy and indifference or the lack of interest to objection. Objection to change can appear in any of the three arenas of change (the cognitive, the emotional and the behavioral) and can be overt or covert, conscious or unconscious, expressed by individuals and unorganized or group opposition and organized; passive or active, with a direct or indirect connection to change and lacking a proper consideration of it (Fox, 2004).

Discussion of meaningful social change – the gender change – should entail definition of the expectations of the process, in order to afford the basis for determining the real, attainable objectives of the processes and projects in this context. The social gender change deals with two distinct target populations: The female population and the male population within the context of relationships.

The vision is attaining gender equality - which is a long-term goal. This is clearly procedural, and therefore a multi-stage goal. Its social character defines it as a multi-systemic objective, and its location in the scheme of change is at two levels – the personal and the systemic level, i.e., this is a complex objective, pertaining to all the tiers of life. The meaningful social change discussed here will therefore deal with three types of difficulty:

83 He bases this on 'force field analysis', in which he claims that for achieving successful change, we must consider the causes of opposition, and combine activities that strengthen forces supportive of the process and weakening the opposition to it .

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1. The lack of awareness of the possibility of change. (This is one of the imminent difficulties in the research of the personal change);

2. Opposition to the very existence of change and specific changes in particular;

3. Misunderstanding or lack of clear knowledge in leading processes of change.

This study will attempt to explore the difficulties in the processes of change from both the female and the male perspective with the social structures included under the male category since society is basically patriarchal.

2.5.4.1 The lack of awareness of the possibility of change

The lack of awareness from the female perspective stems from several causes.

1. Suppression - the stage of knowledge as defined previously, is the most important stage in the process of meaningful change. The many years of suppression⁸⁴ experienced by women, regardless of its sources, blocked their access to knowledge. Its cumulative damage drains to a harsh experience, engraved on the awareness and accompanying activity and personal existence with feelings of degradation and paralysis.

As a result of the suppression, the women affected find it difficult to liberate themselves from the syndromes, and therefore often forgo the struggle for freedom because of their disbelief in its chances to succeed (Collins, 1991)

Spivak (1990) discusses female suppression as comprising several levels that can be adapted to the Israeli aspect. These include traditional European and colonialist (the British mandate) western and oriental patriarchy as well as Zionist, religious and militaristic facets. Within all these the female identity develops, often confused, struggling sisyphically for control of awareness, values and feelings, in their entire existence.

Women report dissonance in which their appearance does not necessarily reflect what they really are but what the social and value mirror reflects to them. This reflection is not compatible with their understanding but a product of the socialization. Female identity is trapped in 'a world of mirrors', as MacKinnon (1989) describes it.

84 A multi-disciplinary suppression matrix comprising race, age, gender and religion, typical of every minority or group that experienced overt or covert suppression

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Under the weight of this suppression, the difficulty to change is quite clear.

2. The absence of power may be divided into two levels – the lack of power of the collective and the lack of power as a result of isolation, prevention of access or of opportunity.

As mentioned at the beginning of this study, female gender identity is both personal and group identity. As a group women are a 'minority group'⁸⁵ stemming from social constriction on a biological basis that decrees a different and discriminatory attitude. Despite the almost universal approach in most societies and cultures in which discrimination, suppression, enslavement and a message of value and moral inferiority exist, that deprive women of equal resources and equal compensation, they do not see themselves as belonging to a group – the group of women - and do not develop a universal female identity. The common social approach sees women as the collective 'other' of males; they do not see themselves as a collective 'other' but as 'other' (Benjamin, 2005). This situation sees each woman as an individual making her way alone without the 'power' of the group.

3. Acceptance and internalization: The fact of being a minority group is transferred from one generation to another as a basic fact (Simpson and Yinger, 1965). Their tendency to identify psychologically with the majority group – the males (Phinney, 1995) creates acceptance and internalization of their weak, secondary positioning.

4. The correct reality: Some claim that the world was controlled by women in the distant past, but known history talks of a male world.

This is supported, apparently, by archeological findings, documents, myths and religion. In the absence of other findings, there is no way to imagine a situation different from that existing. The remains and the existence of a patriarchal society throughout history affords a type of justification for the uniqueness of reality as it is. The 'correct reality' is created by preserving practices and includes developing values of determinism, rigid principles, lack of empathy for the weak, glorifying power and so on. The theories, the studies and the ideologies that developed over the generations and which created a situation for which there is no other perceptual possibility bar that which sees women as secondary to men, defined as holding auxiliary roles, generated a scenario in which it was not only hard for women to see themselves differently, but men also lack another point of view. This created a type of mutual support that left the situation as it was.

85 Tajfel (1978) defines it as a population with poor access to resources.

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5. Social channeling: Channeling forces operate amongst the female population as they do amongst the male population. Channeling also includes dictating feelings, emotions and desires that together combine to a situation of denial backed by social 'satisfaction' stemming from positions that are relatively comfortable for as pertinent to women and therefore did not arouse the male skepticism.

2.5.4.2 Objection to the very existence of change

Opposition to change is a familiar phenomenon and stems mainly from:

a. The fear of uncertainty: Habits develop through repetition, they bring a feeling of stability, familiarity and therefore convey security.

So is the tradition whose role is to preserve the link to the past, the stability of belonging in which each individual knows what is expected of him/her and thus feels secure. People are scared of the unknown resulting in a feeling of instability and lack of security.

b. Loss of profit: Every change involves a price – profit or loss. The paradox apparently lies in the fact that even if the situation is generally negative and unpleasant (as women experience it in a patriarchal world) the change involves loss of profit⁸⁶, stemming, in fact, from weakness. Gonet (2007) mentions the maternal gate keeping as an example, since it is customary to think that the female interest is that the male will help and the male interest is to escape.

What happens, in fact, is the preservation of the threshold of motherhood. The motherhood roles are defined by women and they are the ones who control male involvement – give out tasks, determine the timetable and make the male an assistant to the manager and not an equal partner.

Motherhood is perceived as power by the women and they are not prepared to forgo it.

c. Loss of control: If women have something to lose, men have even more – the loss of power, authority, status and benefits.

2.5.4.3 Non-understanding or lack of knowledge as to how to lead change A key question in leading change is who can or should lead it, an issue to which Crispin (2005) relates i.e., the 'ability to change' of both the topic of change and, in our case, of women, it is important to check 'whether women are prepared to change', and of course, which change? And on

86 . For women these profits are likely to be the absence of need to make a living, of not having to take decisions and bear responsibility, the freedom of action if these obligations are met and so on

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the other hand what of the ability to change amongst men and within the entire society?

The inability to change in the context of women stems from:

1. The lack of tools or the lack of suitable tools, which is one of the key questions that concern this and other studies;

2. The lack of motivation: A low self-image leads to disbelief in the ability to change. In turn it creates a situation for us in which we always struggle for our survival, a struggle that leaves us lacking the strength to change. Instead, we are busy finding justification for the lack of change in our fixated patterns of thought. "At my age…in my situation…I don’t have the tools.." adopt diverse techniques of denial. "I didn’t suffer from…" "we have no problem…". Some of the lack of motivation is based on habit whose role is to preserve the constant and belonging, in which each individual knows what is expected of him. The question to be asked, therefore, will deal with ways of developing motivation.

3. The lack of perspective: Change is a process and therefore it is difficult to see and experience immediate results making it hard to believe in the path. Human nature, and the culture we have developed, demands clear, immediate and viable success. To this end one must set goals which must be realistic and not get lost in the process.

4. Lack of focus: The type of change is multi-systemic and is spread over many areas that necessitate simultaneous action, making meeting the targets of success difficult (as they are defined in the previous section). The concept of success should thus be redefined.

Women must cope with both the blocks at the personal/inner level and with the barriers at the social/external level⁸⁷.A close connection exists between them; they feed each other and become one entity that is difficult to separate. This system, as this researcher understands it, is comprised of three levels of blocks/barriers:

1. Historical: Blocks at the basic root level that become the personal identity. Theoreticians such as Phinney and Rosenthal (1992)

emphasize the importance of the first years in a child's life in which his values, attitudes and behaviors are shaped.

2. Manipulative: Blocks and barriers that are the result of situations and the development of diverse social theories, of social changes and adapting blockages to these changes, while adopting techniques that are used in mechanisms that emphasize the need for stability

87 Blocks will be defined in this study as a difficulty, inhibiting attitude, preventive from the inside aspect. Barriers will be defined as exterior, visible or invisible obstacles or structures

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3. Legal: The result of legitimate expression by those with authority to determine life styles. The woman's roles are replicated from one generation to the next through beliefs, perceptions, values and norms and even laws, and mainly since the patriarchal world thereby maintains control in male hands who exploit the ideology, the education, and all the means to exclude women keeping them in the narrow, inferior, domain. (Foucault, 1979)

Thus, many changes have occurred in everything pertaining to women in the 20^th century, although

1. Not all women around the world benefit from them;

2 The changes that occurred did not alter the social foundations that permit female inferiority still rampant in all domains and nations around the world;

3. Most change concerns the question of legitimate 'rights', although legislation in this matter is not translated into daily life. Ways must now be found to empower women in order to convert their legal rights to daily reality (Status of women ,Canada 2005)