A call usually takes 30 to 60 minutes. Naturally, this time is not enough for the caller to relate all the violence suffered during several years of an abusive relationship thus the following summary is only a testimony of the kinds of violence that the women, children and helpers who call us condemn or consider important enough to mention. The volunteers working on the hotline define these broad categories of violence as defined in NANE’s publication Why Does She Stay???(pages 13 to 1 4 ).
Physical violence
It is conspicuous from the review of the hotline journal that there are much more calls on physical violence than calls because of other forms of violence. This is so probably because physical violence is what victims have a name for, what is most tangible for them, to what they expect a reaction from authorities or institutions the most. Within physical violence, serious acts are mentioned most often, such as the breaking of bones, locking someone in or out or limiting and controlling physical needs, most often sleep.
Psychological and verbal violence
Our callers do not usually mention the forms of psychological and verbal violence which the majority of bystanders would consider weaker forms of violence, such as humiliation, cursing or shouting. Life threats, stalking and harassment, which are more serious, are mentioned the most frequently.
Sexual violence
Callers relatively seldom mention sexual violence but during the two half-year periods almost 50 cases were reported, which is 8% of all calls. The cases surfacing at the hotline are probably just the tip of the iceberg and callers report legal steps to call the perpetrator to account in the rarest of cases.
Social-economic violence
Out of the various forms of social-economic violence the following is heard most often. As a result of isolating, callers’ social support system ceases to exist and so they are left absolutely alone with their problem. We have spoken to several women who lost their jobs because their abusing partners repeatedly humiliated and harassed them at work and their employers did not tolerate that. Thus these women lose both their independent income and potential support system.
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Fruzsina BenKô: Domestic Violence as Reflected in theStatistics of NANE's Hotline
Interventions by professionals: alarming examples
The hotline is typically called by victims who do not get the kind of protection or support they need. I am only highlighting some trends that, based on numerous cases, seem to characterise some biased professionals in each profession.
Hotline callers usually criticise doctors for describing serious injuries as light injuries.
Moreover, doctors seldom ever inform them of the possibility of getting a medical assessment free of charge in penal procedures thus certain poor women are excluded from having a medical assessment of their injuries. It is very common for doctors to choose simpler solutions instead of providing thorough information: they prescribe sedatives and painkillers for the abused woman.
The experience with teachers is that they fail to report children in their classes who are witnesses of abuse at home or are victims themselves.
Social workers
The biggest problem we experience is that a number of social workers working with abused women cannot adequately handle the situation when the abused woman has a child. It seems that while it is the father's abuse that endangers the child, social workers do not hold solely the abusive man responsible but treat the parents as a single unit and send them to mediation or couples therapy accordingly or take the child into protection. Mediation and couples therapy are not to be applied in cases of abusive relationships as for these techniques to be effective, the couple must meet on an equal and voluntary basis which conditions are not met in the cases discussed2.
In the case of children reared in abusive relationships, one of the parents is unable to provide the child with safety because of the continuous abuse perpetrated by the other parent. Our opinion is that in such cases professionals need to clearly differentiate between the parents and put the responsibility for the situation on the person who is responsible for it: the abuser. And not assume the child under protection against both parents.
Some professionals go further and remove the child from the family causing further psychological harm. We recommend supporting the woman’s recovery in addition
2 See: “Tudja-e Ön, hogy miért veszélyes a mediáció a családon belüli erôszak kezelésében?”
http://www.stop-ferfieroszak.hu/mediacio
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Fruzsina BenKô: Domestic Violence as Reflected in theStatistics of NANE's Hotline
to ensuring her safety, and only where the situation is really so serious should the child be placed in a safe environment for the duration of the mother’s recovery. In addition, professionals must ensure that the child can live with his or her family with the abuser removed, as soon as possible.
Police
The national police chief’s order (32./2007) regulating police intervention takes into account victims’ interests in several points on paper. Nevertheless, we often hear about police officers not acting in accordance with that document. Often, the officers on site:
• do not inform the victim of her right to have the event recorded and the crime reported;
• dissuade her from making a report (because its effectiveness is really doubtful);
• it also happens that an abusive man perpetrating a serious crime is not taken away by the police but is left at home, knowing that the man may avenge calling the police after they leave;
• blame the victim: “such women need to be disciplined with beating, really” or
“I have just got a divorce, too, I understand your husband when he dislikes the fact that you are already living with your boyfriend”.
Judges
Judges have broad interpretative powers in the Hungarian legal system and their subjective opinions weigh heavily in a civil or penal procedure. Unfortunately this means that the judges who share views similar to the abuser’s or just fail to recognise abusive behaviour in absence of appropriate training, will decide on the side of the abuser. We have recorded accounts of several trials where the judge shouted at the abused woman and it is a regular phenomenon that judges not only fail to reprimand the abuser who openly humiliates or threatens the abused woman in court but silence the woman if she wants to answer the most degrading of remarks.
Courts often refuse to listen to abused women’s accounts of their situation or the preliminaries of violence saying that those do not pertain to the matter of the case.
However, in cases of custody, visitation or bodily injury it is exactly these circumstances that are the reason for the lawsuit. Thus abused women are silenced and their viewpoints are not taken into account.
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Fruzsina BenKô: Domestic Violence as Reflected in theStatistics of NANE's Hotline