Integration depends a lot on how permeable the border is between the minority and the majority, or in other words:
the extent to which the society is open or closed (Eriksen, 2007). One of the indicators is the immigrants’ social net-works: whether they have friends from the majority society or rather from their co-ethnics (both in the country of origin and country of residence).
A bit fewer than half of the interviewees have only Hungarian and/or immigrant friends and the rest are in contact with locals. The most decisive points in findings friends are through children, to share a common language or cultural background.
The importance in having Hungarian friends lies in the common cultural background and the past. Interviewees also tend to make friends with other immigrants because of the galut (diaspora) mentality, which cannot be understood by the locals.
What makes it easier to become friends with Israeli Jews is to serve in the army and to know Hebrew. Friends (or rather priorities) change with age, which is related to one’s course of life. Therefore, once immigrants have children, they might start looking for their co-ethnics so that their descendants can practice the language. The next section focuses on the relationships and stereotypes among Hungarians.
“If I hear Hungarians, I tend to cross the street.”
17This quote represents the general attitude towards their co-ethnics, which is another important aspect of social network and it is especially important in the light of E. H. Cohen’s (2011) theory. Half of the sample choose not to attend any events at all, and a few others gave up on them. These tendencies are supported by the experts, among whom there are organisers (they know the number of participants). The reasons for going or not going are independent of the date of Aliyah and length of stay. The general reaction to Hungarian events was that they are not worth attending.
The personal reasons for not going varied. Some do not go because they spend their time with Hungarians anyway, and there can be found those who are simply not interested in being a proud Hungarian. People have different views on what these events are about, which can be because of their diverse nature: as in many cases they referred to Hungarian events in general, it is difficult to differentiate which organization they meant, but those most often mentioned were those of the HOH and the embassy. Some knew about the Drory Library and other smaller initiatives as well.
The activities of the HOH focus on the Holocaust survivors, but many interviewees believed it was intended to help
17 Interviewee8, male, 19yrs at Aliyah, oleh
newcomers as well. Therefore, several interviewees expressed their disappointment: “There is a so-called Hitachdut Oleh Hungaria thingy that organises every kind of things. At the beginning we went to their Chanukah parties, but they were somewhat for elderly people.” (Interviewee17)
Many interviewees reported on the terrible nature of these events. Interviewee42, who spends time with Hungarian friends occasionally but mostly lives an international life, said that whenever she joined one of the events, “it turned into a catastrophe”. So “these occasions are only good for you to understand why you don’t live in Hungary”, she said, laughing. Interviewee20 went further by saying that “I rather cut my veins than go to their party” to see their “sour faces”. He does not understand why people come to Israel and complain. They should “go home then if they don’t like it”. However, he is also an international immigrant: he has lived in Israel for five years and is still in his thirties, which might be why he is not fully integrated. For religious interviewees, however, one of the reasons for not going was that most of the embassy’s events have offered non-kosher meals. Interviewee29 reported that she feels unwel-come as a “religious kibbutz inhabitant”. Furthermore, they are held on holy days, when it is not allowed to travel (or before Shabbat starts, hence they would not return home on time). Distance in general was also often an issue.
We cannot find patterns either among those who go to events. For some, the main reason to participate is to be with childhood friends.
Another way to understand their attitude is by listening to their opinions, which came up spontaneously. Several interviewees talked about Hungarians in Israel in a negative way. They are mostly either organisers (or initiators) of these meetings or those who said they went but do not want to go anymore, which means that they had first-hand negative experiences. The rest usually received their information indirectly. Some of the arguments that came up in the interviews were that some people are taking advantage of others and are envious of their position:
With the Hungarians the problem is that – and it is everywhere like this: “not a Hungarian, again”. Unfortunately. Because if a Hungarian calls you, he wants something. He definitely doesn’t call to have a coffee with you but for you to get him a job, flat, give him money and then why do you work if he doesn’t? (Interviewee44, male, 29yrs at Aliyah, oleh) Interviewee19 simply said he knows “enough about Hungarians to avoid them.” He added: “There are many bad stories, so I don’t even want to talk about it. No. In Israel, be an Israeli.” These elements are part of the mentality, and some believe that the pattern of not uniting emerges from that. Interviewee33, who is actively involved in The Bohemians group, said that unfortunately, out of “Hungarian-ness” the “Hungarian community” is dividing, “not solidary” like the Russians, he said. He called it the Ungarische Wirthschaft, showing the nose being stuck-up. Apparently, his group (the Bohemians) is also the result of such a separation (see above).
Apart from having different tastes, such as being interested in dirty jokes, The Bohemians also attract Hungarian-speak-ing immigrants from Transylvania, which is, accordHungarian-speak-ing to him, not welcome by some members. And in general, Interviewee33 comes back to the question of scolding each other:
Take a look at those Facebook pages I told you about. There it perfectly reflects. Somebody asks which shop I have to go to buy this kind of curd cheese dumpling, and the other one picks a quarrel with you for putting three spoons of sugar and not two in the curd cheese dumpling and calls him stupid and (laughs). It is not about this, people. We should be solidary.
From his description, similar themes occur to those raised by experts, namely the division along country of origin and the type of event. Regarding the latter, there are interviewees who would be interested only in cultural events.
The following excerpt summarises the main points that came up in relation to the official Hungarian organisations that represent the “Hungarian community”:
All the Hungarians events that I went to, everybody was grandmother’s age. You’ve mentioned the embassy? It’s in Tel Aviv, right? That is not on my way. Once I went to a- when I divorced, I had serious financial problems and I went to the Hitachdut Oleh Hungaria and they gave me seventy shekels. (laughs) / So at that point I thought this is not exactly the place where they will help me. (laughing) So that’s the situation. (Interviewee12, male, 21yrs at Aliyah, oleh) The problem therefore is age (which is only true for the HOH), the distance and the lack of help. Avoiding Hungarians can serve a purpose; namely, to assimilate.
Having seen their attitude towards their co-ethnics, the answers varied when they were asked what their reaction is if they meet Hungarians on the street: some would cross the street (to avoid them), but some are happy. The antipathy is “rather towards the country than the people”, Interviewee35 said. And there were a few interviewees who even offer help to immigrants, because, according to Interviewee15, the “Hungarians here don’t keep together, and they are the least solidary nation compared to other people”. He is happy to assist other newcomers with translation, for example, but in general he is against the idea of gathering based only on the common language.
Interviewee34, who has no chance to go to events or meet many Hungarians, was very excited to bump into Hungari-ans, she said she “was happy to hear the Hungarian language”. She enjoyed being able to understand what they were speaking about. The reason is that she lives isolated, does not keep in touch with her family on a regular basis, and therefore hardly hears Hungarian words.
Criticising Hungarians is one side of the coin. When it comes to friendships, the answers change immediately. “Being Hungarian is not enough for me to become friends. But if we are friends, it is not a problem.” This comes from Interviewee9, who is assimilated and minimises his connections with his co-ethnics. Or as Interviewee5 cynically put it while laughing: “I assume you don’t like everybody in Hungary either and this is the same here.” In general, the main filter for making friends is personality. As Interviewee24 summarised it, “I decide whether I want to hang out with that person or not depending on what type of personality he has. For me, this is much more important than the identity or which country you are coming from or anything.” However, when he was asked whether there are Hungarians at his workplace, he said
“no, and I won’t even hire them.” (He is a manager who decides whom they hire.)